when you were gone we kissed i guess but i was trying to get him to drink more blood so he would heal faster because he was being a stubborn dick and wouldn't let me try that fucking ritual or whatever that you guys did for me
( it's felt hollow every time he's used that excuse since it happened, but it's even emptier now, after ... )
i don't know what that was the other night
i wasn't trying to keep anything from you. didn't think there was anything there to keep.
( it would be pretty hypocritical of her, anyway. any irritation she feels is not at them being … well, whatever they are, but at being left out of the loop. even that feels pretty small, in light of zoro, zoro, rambling. )
it’s pretty obvious there’s something there now. unless you missed me psychically giving him directions on how to suck your dick. what do we do? i mean
well, what if it happens again? do we need like rules ?
( that's what made it so good, wasn't it? for both of them? that nami was there, even while she wasn't, helping them along.
well, her and that stupid fucking mistletoe. zoro doesn't know why nami's so convinced that there's apparently "something" between him and that goddamn shitty cook. none of what she's saying makes sense, because ... )
he doesn't want me he only wants you
( and a moment later, an afterthought, that's scribbled out quickly and even more aggressively than normal. )
it wasn’t my dick he was sucking. in case you forgot that too. obviously sanji has some
well, i don’t know what it is, but he’s weird about men, despite clearly wanting to suck dick. so, that’s something we’re going to help him with. because we’re friends, even if you both annoy the hell out of me.
can you also stop pretending like i can’t read your scribbles yes, i want it to happen again. which feels like a pretty vulnerable thing to say considering the conversation, so if you feel like admitting anything right now, feel free. i had fun, i’m a thief, i’m greedy, blah blah. i’m really not willing to hurt either of you because i’m greedy though, so if it’s a problem, you can tell me and i’ll stop like, interrupting you two. i wasn’t exactly invited, before.
( everyone thinks zoro is so brave all the time, but it's shit like this that makes him falter. nami's probably the bravest of them in this — hell, at least sanji says something, even if he's full of shit. the words always think about leaving zoro, but they die on his tongue instead. vulnerable, she says, and she is. not facing it is like having his back to another swordsman; he has to look it dead in the eye, even if it means it'll take him down. )
if that makes you greedy, then i'm greedy too.
i don't think there's an us without you, nami.
( because even when she wasn't with them, before she was even connected with sanji ... nami was still there — in sanji's pain and his grief for nami, in zoro's desperation to keep him together for her. )
a part of her would love to feel unaffected by zoro's words, because she's always relied on not feeling anything towards anyone at all. and yet, i don't think there's an us without you makes the thing that was lonely and forgotten inside of nami sing, a little. part of a whole, it feels like. like three points on a triangle. sometimes, and rarely, zoro says exactly the right thing. )
so. you liked me being there. and if it was just us? or just me and sanji? just you and him? would you want that? how does that work?
( these are all very big questions, nami. when, in his attempt at begging her to come home, zoro reassured nami again and again that they'd figure it out, he was — sort of thinking that it would work itself out. instead, things have gotten even more complicated. )
there's already been just us just you two just me and him
i mean. there hasn't really been just us. not in the same way.
( why is that, she wonders. both of them too sensitive over sanji's feelings? or both of them too frigid with each other, to encourage anything? it can't be that. nami doesn't feel icy when she's around zoro — far from it.
but she does remember him not kissing her when he left sanji in her care. she remembers no kisses lately, really. )
he immediately blamed it on the fucking mistletoe i brought home so that's how he feels about that haven't bothered bringing it up since. keeping the peace
( he can't stop the small frown that twitches across his mouth as he reread's nami's neat handwriting, trying not to let it bother him that she's right about them to a varying degree of success. it's not jealousy, per se — it's just ... annoyance, maybe, that he'd rather protect someone nine and a half times out of ten over fulfilling to his own desires.
he already felt guilty telling that shithead cook that he and nami had kissed. )
i'm not trying to hurt anyone by being greedy, either. doesn't mean i don't think about it doesn't mean i don't want it ( well — ) you
( very like sanji to cling to a convenient excuse. still, nami is pretty sure she knows what he was feeling then — like 90% sure. it's a little confusing, since their attraction to zoro is either mirrored or bleeding into each other. impossible to know the difference. almost impossible. )
i'll try to talk to him.
( step one of luring a bunny: false sense of security.
it strikes her that demanding answers from zoro is probably not a very fair thing to ask of him, when he's probably felt sanji's denial the sharpest out of all of them. it's hard, sometimes, to know when zoro is feeling something. nami wishes she could read his mind half as easily as sanji's. )
just so you know if that really is how sanji feels, he's going to have to deal with sharing me. i'm not leaving you behind. i want you, too. that's just how it is.
it means a lot, and zoro doesn't know what to do with that feeling. he knows that his crew cares about him — they stubbornly tended to him when he was on his death bed until he could heal, after all — and he knows that he cares about them, too, would kill for them, has killed for them. this is different, though. it's deeper, just for the two of them, blunt in nami's typical way that leaves no room for confusion. he wants her. she wants him. that's just how it is.
zoro wishes he was even half as confident in his own words. )
nami, i
( right, the scribbling doesn't work. he has to be even more careful with his words than he already is. )
i'm yours in any way you'll have me
( there's a long pause before he writes again, feeling a little too — here's that word again — vulnerable after his last message. )
( it’s strange, how on one hand she can be blunt and honest with herself, and on the other feel a giddy type of shyness in the face of zoro’s feelings. she’s not sure why. the absence of panic inside her is almost more notable than the panic otherwise would be — has she grown a lot, in the past few months? maybe it’s just zoro, the fact that he doesn’t speak unless it’s important, saying i’m yours.
there is some sense of victory, presumably. she’s never had to guess about sanji’s feelings towards her. zoro is another story altogether. )
any way?
( she hasn’t been the one bringing more puritanical practices to their budding relationship — though, she supposes she hasn’t kissed him either. alright. she’s just going to kiss them both on the mouth when she comes home today, and pretend like it’s normal. )
it was a little weird. hard to understand at first. i kind of felt … i don’t know, an impression before i realized it was sanji. it was kind of maybe overwhelming, in a way? i could feel what he wanted, what i wanted. i felt like i knew everything about him, and that i was giving him permission for whatever he wanted. and it was physical, too. i could feel his knees getting sore, and his ears under his fingers and ( why is this easier to talk about with sanji. why does she feel so embarrassed all of a sudden. ) your dick in my mouth. like, the heaviness of it, the shape. kind of the taste too, but more like an afterthought. but really, i was just talking to him, asking how he felt and if he liked it. telling him what to do, what he could do if he wanted. and then when i started touching myself, he could feel it. it was weird, like i was touching both of us with one hand. i don’t know. that’s probably more detail than you wanted.
( it's a quick scribble of confirmation before nami's words start filling up the page, a little slow at first, a few hesitations. but then —
there's a lot. and zoro's mouth maybe goes dry as he reads it over once, twice, maybe three times over, just to try comprehending. he swallows hard, thinking about all of it — thinking about nami feeling her knees getting sore, thinking about nami on her knees. thinking about his dick in nami's mouth. thinking about nami telling the cook what to do. thinking about nami telling him what to do. )
you were touching yourself
( there's probably supposed to be a question mark there, but words are ... increasingly difficult. )
( and, like that, nami grows a backbone and is no longer grateful for the dividers that exist between them — she wishes she could see his face while he says that, wants to know if zoro blushes or gets flustered, or if he's as intense and honest as he is whenever he tells luffy he's his second in command. )
( he hopes — even if zoro doesn't dare commit that thought to paper. even after all this honesty, he still doesn't want to show nami any uncertainty. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-26 07:05 pm (UTC)you could’ve mentioned something sooner, asshole
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-26 07:39 pm (UTC)it's not
we didn't
when you were gone we kissed i guess but i was trying to get him to drink more blood so he would heal faster because he was being a stubborn dick and wouldn't let me try that fucking ritual or whatever that you guys did for me
( it's felt hollow every time he's used that excuse since it happened, but it's even emptier now, after ... )
i don't know what that was the other night
i wasn't trying to keep anything from you. didn't think there was anything there to keep.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-26 08:12 pm (UTC)( it would be pretty hypocritical of her, anyway. any irritation she feels is not at them being … well, whatever they are, but at being left out of the loop. even that feels pretty small, in light of zoro, zoro, rambling. )
it’s pretty obvious there’s something there now. unless you missed me psychically giving him directions on how to suck your dick.
what do we do? i mean
well, what if it happens again? do we need like
rules
?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-26 08:45 pm (UTC)this conversation
happening? )
no i didn't miss that part
kinda hard to
( that's what made it so good, wasn't it? for both of them? that nami was there, even while she wasn't, helping them along.
well, her and that stupid fucking mistletoe. zoro doesn't know why nami's so convinced that there's apparently "something" between him and that goddamn shitty cook. none of what she's saying makes sense, because ... )
he doesn't want me
he only wants you
( and a moment later, an afterthought, that's scribbled out quickly and even more aggressively than normal. )
do you want it to happen again?(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-26 09:09 pm (UTC)( please )
it wasn’t my dick he was sucking. in case you forgot that too.
obviously sanji has some
well, i don’t know what it is, but he’s weird about men, despite clearly wanting to suck dick. so, that’s something we’re going to help him with. because we’re friends, even if you both annoy the hell out of me.
can you also stop pretending like i can’t read your scribbles
yes, i want it to happen again. which feels like a pretty vulnerable thing to say considering the conversation, so if you feel like admitting anything right now, feel free.
i had fun, i’m a thief, i’m greedy, blah blah. i’m really not willing to hurt either of you because i’m greedy though, so if it’s a problem, you can tell me and i’ll stop
like, interrupting you two. i wasn’t exactly invited, before.
1/2
Date: 2023-12-26 11:00 pm (UTC)you can read them?
( he just thought that they didn't go through to the other person if he got rid of them fast enough!!! )
2/2
Date: 2023-12-26 11:00 pm (UTC)well
whatever
that doesn't matter
( everyone thinks zoro is so brave all the time, but it's shit like this that makes him falter. nami's probably the bravest of them in this — hell, at least sanji says something, even if he's full of shit. the words always think about leaving zoro, but they die on his tongue instead. vulnerable, she says, and she is. not facing it is like having his back to another swordsman; he has to look it dead in the eye, even if it means it'll take him down. )
if that makes you greedy, then i'm greedy too.
i don't think there's an us without you, nami.
( because even when she wasn't with them, before she was even connected with sanji ... nami was still there — in sanji's pain and his grief for nami, in zoro's desperation to keep him together for her. )
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 01:07 am (UTC)a part of her would love to feel unaffected by zoro's words, because she's always relied on not feeling anything towards anyone at all. and yet, i don't think there's an us without you makes the thing that was lonely and forgotten inside of nami sing, a little. part of a whole, it feels like. like three points on a triangle. sometimes, and rarely, zoro says exactly the right thing. )
so. you liked me being there.
and if it was just us? or just me and sanji?
just you and him? would you want that? how does that work?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 01:52 am (UTC)i liked it.
( these are all very big questions, nami. when, in his attempt at begging her to come home, zoro reassured nami again and again that they'd figure it out, he was — sort of thinking that it would work itself out. instead, things have gotten even more complicated. )
there's already been just us
just you two
just me and him
i think he's the one you need to be asking
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 02:02 am (UTC)there hasn't really been just us. not in the same way.
( why is that, she wonders. both of them too sensitive over sanji's feelings? or both of them too frigid with each other, to encourage anything? it can't be that. nami doesn't feel icy when she's around zoro — far from it.
but she does remember him not kissing her when he left sanji in her care. she remembers no kisses lately, really. )
are you going to talk to him about it? have you?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 02:25 am (UTC)( read: zoro doesn't want to talk about it. )
he immediately blamed it on the fucking mistletoe i brought home
so that's how he feels about that
haven't bothered bringing it up since. keeping the peace
( he can't stop the small frown that twitches across his mouth as he reread's nami's neat handwriting, trying not to let it bother him that she's right about them to a varying degree of success. it's not jealousy, per se — it's just ... annoyance, maybe, that he'd rather protect someone nine and a half times out of ten over fulfilling to his own desires.
he already felt guilty telling that shithead cook that he and nami had kissed. )
i'm not trying to hurt anyone by being greedy, either.
doesn't mean i don't think about it
doesn't mean i don't want it
( well — ) you
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 03:24 am (UTC)( very like sanji to cling to a convenient excuse. still, nami is pretty sure she knows what he was feeling then — like 90% sure. it's a little confusing, since their attraction to zoro is either mirrored or bleeding into each other. impossible to know the difference. almost impossible. )
i'll try to talk to him.
( step one of luring a bunny: false sense of security.
it strikes her that demanding answers from zoro is probably not a very fair thing to ask of him, when he's probably felt sanji's denial the sharpest out of all of them. it's hard, sometimes, to know when zoro is feeling something. nami wishes she could read his mind half as easily as sanji's. )
just so you know
if that really is how sanji feels, he's going to have to deal with sharing me.
i'm not leaving you behind. i want you, too. that's just how it is.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-12-27 04:35 pm (UTC)it means a lot, and zoro doesn't know what to do with that feeling. he knows that his crew cares about him — they stubbornly tended to him when he was on his death bed until he could heal, after all — and he knows that he cares about them, too, would kill for them, has killed for them. this is different, though. it's deeper, just for the two of them, blunt in nami's typical way that leaves no room for confusion. he wants her. she wants him. that's just how it is.
zoro wishes he was even half as confident in his own words. )
nami, i
( right, the scribbling doesn't work. he has to be even more careful with his words than he already is. )
i'm yours in any way you'll have me
( there's a long pause before he writes again, feeling a little too — here's that word again — vulnerable after his last message. )
what was it like? for you
when we
cw: nsfw
Date: 2023-12-27 06:46 pm (UTC)there is some sense of victory, presumably. she’s never had to guess about sanji’s feelings towards her. zoro is another story altogether. )
any way?
( she hasn’t been the one bringing more puritanical practices to their budding relationship — though, she supposes she hasn’t kissed him either. alright. she’s just going to kiss them both on the mouth when she comes home today, and pretend like it’s normal. )
it was a little weird. hard to understand at first. i kind of felt … i don’t know, an impression before i realized it was sanji. it was kind of
maybe overwhelming, in a way? i could feel what he wanted, what i wanted. i felt like i knew everything about him, and that i was giving him permission for whatever he wanted.
and it was physical, too. i could feel his knees getting sore, and his ears under his fingers and ( why is this easier to talk about with sanji. why does she feel so embarrassed all of a sudden. ) your dick in my mouth. like, the heaviness of it, the shape. kind of the taste too, but more like an afterthought. but really, i was just talking to him, asking how he felt and if he liked it. telling him what to do, what he could do if he wanted. and then
when i started touching myself, he could feel it. it was weird, like i was touching both of us with one hand. i don’t know. that’s probably more detail than you wanted.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-02 03:36 am (UTC)any way
( it's a quick scribble of confirmation before nami's words start filling up the page, a little slow at first, a few hesitations. but then —
there's a lot. and zoro's mouth maybe goes dry as he reads it over once, twice, maybe three times over, just to try comprehending. he swallows hard, thinking about all of it — thinking about nami feeling her knees getting sore, thinking about nami on her knees. thinking about his dick in nami's mouth. thinking about nami telling the cook what to do. thinking about nami telling him what to do. )
you were touching yourself
( there's probably supposed to be a question mark there, but words are ... increasingly difficult. )
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-02 04:23 am (UTC)yeah. kinda hard not to.
i felt everything. the effects of the mistletoe. you.
sanji getting hard.
i couldn't hear you, though. that was the worst part.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-04 02:45 am (UTC)i want you to hear me
wanna give you a reason for me to hear you too
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-04 03:42 am (UTC)one day?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-01-06 04:52 pm (UTC)soon.
( he hopes — even if zoro doesn't dare commit that thought to paper. even after all this honesty, he still doesn't want to show nami any uncertainty. )